Failure To Launch

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My first born turned 22 last week.  He is an awesome kid who has a job and is going to school.  He is still living with us while he goes to school.  We are hoping that by allowing him to do this he will be able to save up enough money and get a place of his own in the near future.. 

Right before his birthday, Todd and I had a convesation about helping our kids out.  Our conversation raised the question, are we helping them or hurting them by allowing them to stay at home?  If you have watched Failure To Launch, this is what I am talking about.  In the movie, parents allow their kids to stay at home, but in their 30's, it seems a little weird/awkward, and seems to stunt them emotionally.

During the hubb's and my conversation, I voiced that I thought we should give our kids until they are 25, and then they need to try and live on their own.  Todd thought that I was being mean.  I can assure you that I am not trying to be mean, but to help build their character and confidence.  I moved out when I was very young and had to struggle.  My parents gave a helping hand when needed (which was quite often by the way), but always allowed me to make mistakes and learn from them.  In the end, I learned that I can survive and succeed.

I believe that being allowed to struggle and fail, then pick myself back up again was a very valuable experience.  I see peers that were handed everything and who still feel that people owe them, that they shouldn't have to go without or struggle.  Fact is, that isn't real life.  Everyone has ups and downs.

Maybe this is part of the problem with society right now.  We don't want to have to struggle, to save, to work hard.  We really haven't had to sacrifice, unlike our parents / grandparents, and we want everything right now:  a big house, a luxury car, the newest technology. 

So what do you think?  Am I being mean?  Should we let the kids stay for as long as they need?  What are your thoughts?